The truth is that there really wanted to post. Wanting would have posted before, I like my lj and in fact every day I check the website of friends and everything, but sometimes I mess and leaves time to post ... And others I get the impression that only postearía to bring me down. As we now know the truth if not angry or depressed, I guess to go with the flow should opt for the latter but in my character goes by the first decanter. The trouble is that if I show my anger and eventually it taking a wrong or those who are not guilty of anything or does not bother me what they do. That makes me question whether it is better to wait until tomorrow to see if I'm in a better mood, but also makes me think that if people take these things so seriously that I do not know. And since small been clear that people wanted me not to bother to know. Maybe I should purge some parts of my life, remove unwanted objects or that have become unwanted, or objects that are becoming an unbearable heaviness. But on the other hand I think that I have no major problem, perhaps depressed me, and disgusts me to piss me off, but what you gonna do? Somo human, imperfect and I accept the mistakes people prefer to stay with them for the good they have. So really for me no problem, it is they who can and probably are unable to accept me with my mistakes and failures. Yes, maybe you should just post whatever I want and let the people decide. Decide whether our friendship is real or a mere convenience of circumstances, from my part it is, do not call those friends who do not consider as such.
But do not believe that I will mourn because you decide that our friendship is worth nothing. I have spent much time alone and I survived. You are important to me. But in any case you are indispensable.
remember chapter 208 of Rurouni Kenshin manga, first in the same page. Page 26 if you work with editing in volume. I remember the first bullet of the page, an empty white rectangle of content except for the following: "
The value of a person ... is measured by the number of people who mourn his death? Some say it can be measured and .
"
There was a time when these words seemed certain, from the rational point of view and from that of my" fantasy world "(which I maintain will sooner or later all is not as fancy as assume). What better way to know the value of one if not looking at the impact it had on the people around you? Perhaps there was a time when this was so, that time where people did great things wonderful, most mortals and focusing on something simple but immensely impressive as is: live your life. Crawling through the mud, working as a mule, seated on stately homes and castles ... One way or another all his life lived. And there were expectations, and always has been since an accidental joke put the man in the world. But not like now, nothing like now. Tan
demanding. Tan
degraded. 
Everyone knows what is best for everyone but themselves, which is seen in the pathetic lives they lead. Everyone should aspire to a. .. Something very important, very famous, very wonderful, very wonderful, very honorable, very rich and of course be happy. What has become those people who saw his goal in life achieved when an outbreak could grow on your farm? Or for marrying someone who loved or at least get along and who would spend the rest of your life? Or when you just opened my eyes to a new day?
Now if you're not studying you are nothing. And start to get to the point that if you study but they are not about specific things is the same as if you had not. "What does that outputs have?" What would do with that? Going to be a dead starve if you do that. "Did anyone stop to think that 90% of people in the past that we admire today were just a bunch of starving? People who did what he wanted, he enjoyed doing and did well. That died buried in the mud and dirt, forgotten by the hand of God or disdained, but whose fruits of their labor now people admire and pay fortunes to have it, or that millions of people owe their lives. 
Now people get married, and for what? If at 2 months are going to divorce or worse. But there are, getting married while their classmates are still thinking about the study or what to do with his life. I would say they seem to want to ruin life but do not tell you, after all marriage will not last. And never do and the few marriages that survive are anything but marriage. And I will not get to talk about children. Just to say that every day that passes me less affected infant deaths, is something horrible and sad, but worse would be letting them grow for them to see them leave this world. I do not mean to weather conditions or shit like that.
the end the blame for all this, that I scratch these wandering thoughts is the same as always. And all, why? Because ladies and gentlemen, we are in April. Specifically we are ending in April, May and soon reached the start to finish the courses. Those whose fate still have until June, but that does not mean that they sound the trumpets of the stretch. I love this time of year. It is a magical time where suddenly important studies. I will study to pass everything! I will take what I have pending and current! Etc, etc, etc. And all to end like always, very scratched approved sometimes become suspended, suspended outright, parents, disappointed, distressed people and apparently no vision. Occasionally a flute sounds and voices are heard "Next year does not pass, I will study all day," everything for next year comes and nothing changes. 
Not to mention the souls in distress whose parents impose hours of study and monitor a greater or lesser extent. They also just like everyone else. Dad and Mom seems to have forgotten that read 400 times something does not mean what you study or learn, even memorize it.
speak Maybe if the parties involved ... But that is not possible, talk with parents is something unimaginable, they do not understand us and the funny thing is that they say the same of us, the problem according to them is that we do not understand. The issue is that nobody ever talks. Hopefully yell at each other with a lost child and returns to it before, the same tensions the same anxieties these ultimatums. Some try to find a way to pass the course, others finish their studies, others find work, others trying to figure out what to do with his life. But hey, this is considered only at this time, or under imminent threat. The rest of the time no one was affected both be looking at the ceiling, hopefully to complain that their lives feel empty and they spend staring at the ceiling. And hopefully when assessments are studying for exams suffer a sneak peak of current general but soon passes. After all at Christmas "I still have two assessments to recover."
And amid all this, or at least what seems to be the medium to which I refer to things around me I am. I, the most serious of which was to leave the university because they had changed the race that was supposed to study and therefore made me look for something that was not what I had paid. I, who whose problems in school-age high school was that in several subjects was hard going from 4 but managed to end with efforts to remove the 6 beautiful that I took to college. I, the greatest anguish whose current is to attack me when I go to class to see a group of young adults face Fraguels look the teacher while it explains the basic concepts unsuccessfully to be understood. I, the most important of which scratch is gives me when I realize in those classes that the exercise done by the teacher is wrong and correct it. I, the current juncture as if drawing spend July and August all or catch a break from the job at the museum that I have been offered during July and August.
And best of all is that God turns everything to me and looks. I talk about their big problem. I ask for advice and support. As if they understood. As if he understood his situation. As if ... How can they? For I jodeis
because I'm not. I do not want to be seeing your troubles. I can not understand why you are unable to put you, not to study, if not just pay attention in class. Real attention. I surprised to find that much of learning is resolved that way. I can not understand why you are unable to see your parents in the face and speak, not as enraged Crios but as people who are supposed to are, and make you understand. I can not understand why your parents are so incapable of understanding what you say and what you want, or why they are so drivers and obsessive and selfish and short-sighted. I can not identify with that I threaten to throw me out of house or similar. I can not imagine a situation where you need to find a job and not find even any offers. Because I paid attention in class and studied, very little about the ultimate truth is but the thing is approved. They were all 10, but its good 8 and 6 had, some 5 scraping anyone ever wanted but still contributed their bit. Because I talk to my parents, myself and a thousand other things and see them as my friends but before that my parents are. Because my parents although many things I do not understand or know what I mean respect and accept me as I am supporting me in what they can unless they pose a major conflict with their ideas and what they accept. Because I now I want to concentrate on my studies (second computer module, selected studies on its own will and choice not by force or coercion) and do not work yet, and still does not stop calling me every now offering work / job interview . Maybe I'm
lucky. Maybe I'm the famous exception to the universal rule bitch.
Or perhaps you are all a fucking bunch of spoiled brats incapable of balls to be enforced by themselves.
Maybe not that I have a plane when you only have two wings ye who refuse to fly. Perhaps it is that by year by b I have learned to use my wings and you do not, because it is always much more comfortable letting the big birds take us from one place to another. Although sometimes lead us to places we do not want, "hm?
should try to fly by yourself and I do not mean to stay there in the nest flapping their wings to see if you fly. I mean salteis. The best will fly. In the worst case you fucking estampareis against ground. In both cases it is very possible that you leave for your fucking life fuck myself with soap, and the truth is that right now that's all I want (apart from two bollicaos Bleach marathons and lying on the sofa).
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